My Feet Aren’t Ugly

“Every time you make fun of someone or talk behind theirs backs, you act like you’re better than they are. It leaves you feeling bad because you know deep down that you are not better than they are.”

When we talk behind a person’s back, or do anything else to them that isn’t nice, it makes us feel worse inside then you make them feel. You might not even notice it, but it’s there.  It’s not possible to be mean to others and have it not affect us negatively.

When you go against your true self, you feel bad about yourself. If you feel bad about yourself, your self esteem takes a beating.  If you got into a physical fight and got your body beat up, how would you feel physically? I’m guessing pretty bad. Well, when you do things that affect your sense of self, negatively, your inside takes a beating.

So start paying attention to how you treat people, and know that when you make someone else feel bad, you’re doing the same damage to yourself.

Keep Loving Yourself,
Debra

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©2007-2011 Debra Beck, EmpoweredTeensandParents.com

My Feet Aren’t Ugly

“Is there a price to pay?? YES!!! Pregnancy or getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD), having to tell the man you love and want to marry that you have had many sexual partners, that you have a sexually transmitted disease that he is going to get, and that you’ll both have it the rest of your lives! And then there’s living with an STD. Absolutely there is a price to pay. Sexuality is big! It is such an important link to our self esteem.”

I remember being a teen and I felt invincible. That invincibility came from not knowing better, not quite being mature enough.  As a teen we very seldom ever think about the outcome of a lot of things. We see fun and we run with it, and rightly so, fun is fun!  As we start to mature, we start to realize that some of our actions have not so fun outcomes.  Then the process of weighing out the odds comes in.  If I do this, this might happen. If I have sex with a guy, I might get pregnant, or I might get a sexually transmitted disease. “Hmm…maybe I won’t have sex”.

There is going to be a life time of having to make decisions that will affect you either positivity or negatively. It’s Your Choice. Pregnancy, not a small obstacle at a young age, or getting a STD is a life changing situation.  The beauty about this is that you have complete control over your actions. You have the choice whether you’re going to be sexually active and if it’s really worth it.  I mentor so many teens that have been sexually active and realize what is at stake. Every time you do something that’s not in your best interest, that’s not going to empower you, your self esteem takes a hit. Remember our goal here is to be empowered. With every choice we make, we make the choice to strengthen our self esteem or to lower it.

I know, you know that you have the power to create any kind of life you want, you just have to think about it and think about what it will take to get there. Then take the actions required to get there. All girls want to be empowered young women creating our own life.

My Feet aren’t Ugly, A Girl’s Guide To Loving Herself From The Inside Out is a great tool to learn how to empower yourself, it’s even fun!

Keep Loving Yourself,

Debra

Click here to buy My Feet Aren’t Ugly

My Feet Aren’t Ugly

“I used to have a fear about going without makeup and having someone see me. One morning I chose not to wear makeup, and I was also going to speak in front of about 15 people. So it was a double whammy! The worst thing that happened was that some of the people asked me if I was sick. They said I looked pale. I just laughed. It wasn’t so bad. It allowed me to be okay with not wearing makeup. I really felt so free.“

Fears are tricky. You have to first look at what type of fear it is.  Is it a fear of walking down a dark alley all by yourself or is it trying out for a sports team with the fear that you think you aren’t good enough? Do you see a difference between the two fears? Of course you do, one of them is a valid fear or concern.  It wouldn’t be a good idea to walk alone in a dark alley, so this is a legitimate fear. The other one, not trying out for a sports team because you don’t think you’re good enough, is one of those fears you should try to push through.

When we push through fears like that it empowers us.  If we try out for a sport that we really enjoy, maybe just maybe we will make the team. What if you never even tried out, wouldn’t that be a shame?  Even if you do try out and you don’t make it, it lets you know where you are, how much work you might have to do to make the team next time.  Just trying to achieve things we want, empowers us. So next time you are faced with a decision about making up your mind about a fear, first look at what type of a fear is it, and then give yourself a little push to move through the ones that will empower you.

So, Move through your fears and…

Keep Loving Yourself,

Debra

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My Feet Aren’t Ugly

“Your first period is the beginning of your journey to becoming a young woman. The average age for menstruation to start is twelve years old, although some girls start as early as eight or nine or as late as seventeen.”

The more aware your daughter is about what is going to happen to her body during this time, the less anxiety and discomfort she will have.  This is a time to talk to your daughter about what will be happening to her body and emotions, and to help her embrace this time with grace.  So many teenage girls view there period as something nasty and horrible. This is her womanhood that she is slamming!!

Explain to her that this is time where she will start maturing into a grown woman and it can be a beautiful process.  First, the word period is not a great word to be able to embrace. My daughters starting calling it, their Moon. The Moon circles around the Earth in a twenty-eight-day cycle and most women have their menstrual cycle every twenty-eight days. That’s pretty special isn’t it?  I think calling it our Moon, feels so much better and respectful during a time that is really special.

I hope you can start helping your teenage daughter view her Moon as a special time, where she can embrace her womanhood. If she can, it will help her develop higher self esteem, because this is something happening to her, and is a part of her.  If she doesn’t like this part of her, it lowers her self esteem.

Keep Loving Yourself,
Debra

Click here to buy My Feet Aren’t Ugly

My Feet Aren’t Ugly

“Every time we make good decisions for ourselves, remember that we empower ourselves and develop a stronger sense of self. Remember the “Power Circle”-the more you do things you know are right for you, the more confidence you will have and the less things you will do that aren’t good for you.”

Learning to make good decisions is a part of maturing.  Teens need to be taught how to make good decisions, they just don’t automatically know how.  It’s up to you as a parent to teach them. The parenting  just goes on and on, doesn’t it? Yep, it does, that’s what you signed up for!  Teens that have strong self esteem, make good decisions for themselves, but they still need to learn what the process looks like. Here are some helpful tips to help teens with the decision making process.

• When someone asks you if you want to do something, take a breath and think about it first. Weigh the pros and cons.

• Realize your decisions are not only affecting you, they are affecting the people around you too.

• Realize your decisions might affect you in the future and not just at that moment.

• If you state your decision with confidence, your friends will have respect for you and probably not pressure you.

• Know that this is your life and you have all the power to make it what you want it to be.

Parents, help your teen become a great decision maker, help empower them, so that when they aren’t under your wings anymore, you will be confident in the decisions they are making.

Keep Loving Yourself,
Debra

My Feet Aren’t Ugly, A Girl’s Guide To Loving Herself, is a great tool to empower your teenage daughter.

Click Here to BUY My Feet Aren’t Ugly

My Feet Aren’t Ugly

“I have seen alcohol do as much damage as drugs do; just because alcohol is legal for people over the age of 21 doesn’t mean there are no risks. Plenty of people ruin their lives through Alcohol.”

Because teens know that when they are 21 they can drink legally they view drinking   differently than drugs. Personally, I think alcohol can be as dangerous as drugs. Anything done in excess can be a problem. Eating too much, eating too little, exercising too much or too little, all of these things can have adverse effects if done too much or too little.

Most teenagers are going to experiment with alcohol. What you want to prevent as parents is them wrecking their lives through drinking too much, by alcohol poisoning, driving while under the influence or just simply using alcohol as a tool to manage their life.

Teenagers that experiment with alcohol usually can maintain a healthy sense of self. On the other hand teens who make alcohol their primary entertainment and all they do is drink, usually have lower self esteem.  During this time of exploration with drugs and alcohol it’s important as parents that you be available for your teen to guide them.  If your teenager is closed down to you, you are not going to be the one they go to for guidance.

The teenage years are a time when you are going to want to keep the lines of communication open with them, so that you can have conversations with your teen about drinking too much without sounding like your passing judgment. Your teen needs your guidance, they actually want your guidance, so be available for them, listen to them and step into their reality, so you can guide them.

Keep Loving Yourself,
Debra

My Feet Aren’t Ugly, A Girl’s Guide To Loving Herself From The Inside Out, is a great tool to help your daughter learn to love herself and make good decisions in her life.

Click Here to BUY My Feet Aren’t Ugly

My Feet Aren’t Ugly

“I started watching my weight and the things I ate because I thought I was overweight. My friends said I wasn’t but I thought they were lying so I kept dieting. I got so skinny that I had to go to the hospital. I realize now that I stopped eating because I didn’t feel good about myself. I take really good care of my body. Now and know how important eating healthy is.”

If our self esteem isn’t in tact, our body image could be skewed as well.  This was such an important comment from a teenage girl about her body because it just shows you how feeling bad about yourself can affect the way you see yourself.  One way of taking care of ourselves is to love our body and appreciate it for what it is and what it does for us.

Developing our self esteem or learning how to love our self from the inside out, strengthens our sense of self so that we feel good about ourselves. When we feel good about ourselves, we make better decisions. When we make good decisions, we create a better life for ourselves. When we create a better life, we are happier.  Everything is tied to our self esteem.

So, take care of your body, eat the right foods and enough of them. Give your body a break, don’t expect it to be perfect, love it the way it is.  If you do this, you will be strengthening your sense of self and will create an environment in your life that is joyful.

Keep Loving Yourself,

Debra