During my last workshop, the subject of respect came up and 2 girls that were talking about how people just don’t have respect for anyone anymore. The conversation went on for a bit and another student raised her hand and I called on her and as she was speaking the 2 girls most upset about respect kept talking to each other. I turned to them and asked for them to turn their attention to the student that had the floor and as soon as I turned away they started to side talk again. I went over to them and asked one of them to tell me something really important in her life, and as soon as she started I turned and started talking to her friend next to her. Then I turned to the girl I was asking to tell me the important thing in her life and asked her how that felt. She said “horrible”. I then asked if she felt respected by me, and she said no.
Sometimes we don’t even know when we are being disrespectful to others. I always try to turn the tables, and say if someone did that to me how would I feel. Usually that gives me a clue anyways to what I am doing. Another thing I always remember is that respect isn’t something just granted to me, I have to earn it. If I am behaving in a way that doesn’t allow people to respect me, I can’t demand respect just because. My actions will determine the level of respect I create in my life.
This also goes hand-in-hand with setting boundaries with people who don’t show respect for you. Not allowing people to treat you poorly, let them know that you expect a level of respect from the people in your life. Make sure you are being respectful if you are expecting respect. It might seem odd to your friends if you are asking them to respect you and you aren’t showing them any respect.
So, just pay attention to Respect this week, and see if you are giving it and if you are receiving it. Let me know what comes up for you around this.