Positive Reinforcement as Opposed to Negative for Teen Issues
How to Reward Good Behavior and Calm Teen Issues
1. Look at Effort, Not Results
You want to encourage your child to make an effort while also teaching that life isn’t fair. This is why it’s important to praise effort, not results. For example, if you witness your teen staying up late every night to study for a big exam, and then she scores low on said exam, it’s important that she know you’re still proud. As unfair as it seems, effort does not always equal reward.
2. Provide Rewards
Rewards should be given for making an extra effort. You don’t want to teach your teen that someone will reward her for simply going to school. There are responsibilities that are expected for someone her age. When she is older, there won’t be anyone there to force her out of bed for work.
Examples of good behavior that does deserve a reward include things like completing an extra-credit assignment, taking on a charity project or facing a fear, such as trying out for the school play despite being incredibly nervous.
You don’t have to give material rewards if you don’t feel comfortable. She might not show it, but a heartfelt “I’m proud of you” will mean a lot to her.
3. Work on the Relationship as a Whole
Your positive reinforcement will mean a lot more if you and your teen have a thriving relationship. Along with providing rewards and verbal support, make sure to spend some alone time with your teen each week. A mother daughter retreat is a great way to focus on enjoying your relationship. If you can’t commit to a retreat anytime soon, something simple like enjoying a cup of tea or binging on your favorite television program together can make a huge difference.
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