MotherMy mother passed away when I was 26 years old.  It was the most difficult time in my life. I remember thinking, what am I going to do without her, and who will have my back. Even though she was immersed in her own wounding, and had a hard time showing up for me, I knew she was always there.  It is an empty space in me without her in my life and feel it most when I am with friends and their mothers, on Mother’s Day or on the day of her birth and death. I have read many books that say no matter what age you lose your mother, it is a loss you never recover from.

I am a mother of two daughters and know that they feel a loss because I am not living close to them. It is a loss for me as well. For all of you with mothers in your life daily, stand in gratitude, you are so lucky. To have a mothers love near, no matter how it is delivered to you is precious.

For all of the mothers in the world, know how special you really are!

Being a mother is both joyous and heart breaking. The joy that I have felt as a mother has been from the deepest part of my heart. To look at my daughters and feel our connection, our love, and sometimes our aching hearts is such a gift. Being a mother is loving in the most unconditional way. Giving your child your food even though you’re still hungry, giving up your sweater when you are cold and giving them love when you’re so angry you could spit nails.

I have loved being a mother and miss terribly the absence of my own mother. The loss that comes up in most situations in my life today, even though they aren’t related to my mom. I use these feelings of loss to be more connected to myself and others. To know there are others suffering the loss and send them love and comfort.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms out there and here is a piece of my heart to those that have lost their mother. I’m sending my love to all of you on this memorable day.

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