Being moody and distant is a common teenage issue, but that doesn’t mean you should shrug it off and accept a dissolving relationship between you and your daughter. It might take a little work, but if you make an effort, you’ll be able to do a lot to maintain your connection.
1. Make Time for Each Other
Your daughter might roll her eyes and beg to go with her friends instead, but deep down, she will benefit from spending time with you. Whether she realizes it or not, she’s seeking a lot of validation from her mom during these formative years. Seeing that you are making an effort to include her in your world will do a lot for her self-esteem, especially if you can engage in conversations where you show that you genuinely respect her views on things.
2. Fight with Kindness
Even if you’ve been blessed with a relatively relaxed and even-tempered teen, you’re still likely to have a fight here and there. It’s important to remember not to purposefully hurt feelings or push your daughter’s buttons. No one is perfect, but it’s your job to provide an example of proper behavior. If she says something ridiculous that makes you want to blow your top, pause to take a few deep breaths. Remember that you don’t have to respond right away, and always take the time to consider your daughter’s perspective before you speak. She might not be able to offer the same treatment in return, but these arguments can also be launching points for discussions about respect.
3. Keep Secrets
If you want to build a strong relationship with your daughter, you’ll need to develop trust. If your daughter tells yousomething private about her dating or personal life, consider keeping it between you. She may not want your spouse, her grandparents or other adults in your world to know everything, and if she finds out that you told everyone her secrets, she will be far less likely to share things with you in the future.
For help getting closer to your daughter, consider signing up for one of my online mother-daughter workshops. My program can help you and your daughter work together to get through teenage issues and develop stronger self-esteem.