Blame means to hold someone responsible for some perceived error or faults, whether the error fault is real or not.
A lot of times when your daughter is blaming you it’s misplaced anger that isn’t even about you but you seem to be a safer target. Your daughter isn’t really able to process her emotions and therefore it is easier for her to blame you for everything; how her life is feeling to her. Unfortunately, if she is feeling crummy about her life she may blame you but if her life is going well I’m not sure you’ll get the credit.
Teens have yet to develop their ability to reason and so unfortunately, they will falsely assign blame and it usually lands on the mother. When she says she hates you it’s because she’s angry and holding you responsible for her unhappiness, even though you have done nothing wrong. If she is feeling angry, negative or resentful she will possibly blame you for everything she is not able to cope with. Once she is ready to take ownership for her issues, the blaming will stop.
As a human being there is no possible way to be the perfect parent. At some point in a child’s life when they become emotionally mature adults, they need to see through the errors of your parenting and heal their wounds and stop blaming you. If this blame continues for a long period of time, it will eventually erode the relationship and make it harder to come back to a more loving space with each other.
It’s so important to have an understanding for our process of growth through our triggers because of how people show up for us. If you are always expecting people on the outside to show up a certain way to make it feel good, 50% of the time you will be disappointed.
In my work through the mother-daughter retreats whether it be teens or adults it is all about taking full ownership of your own emotions and using those emotions to heal. It is through the process of healing our own wounds that we find peace with ourselves and others. The first place this will shift is the mother daughter relationship.
The earlier you can work through this dynamic the better it is for your daughter, because she will learn how to love herself through your relationship instead of dumping the blame and anger on you. Working on your relationship in the mother daughter retreat the biggest shift is the love you find for yourself. Once we find this love for ourselves it organically shows up on the outside with others and the first to feel that shift is definitely the mother.
If you would like to explore a mother-daughter retreat no matter what age your daughter is, schedule your free consult here. Schedule Free Consult and let’s talk about if it’s right for you.
Mother Daughter Retreat Testimonial
This retreat was super helpful in teaching me how to be the best version of myself. It showed me techniques to do when I’m upset, and taught me to be happier. Debra was very encouraging and patient throughout the whole experience. She help me and my mom understand each other more, and helped to repair our bond. I would highly recommend this retreat to anyone who wants to learn more about themselves and grow as a person. I definitely did!
– Bridget, Daughter, 14
The retreat was such a powerful opportunity to learn the skills and tools that will strengthen the relationship with my daughter and beyond. Debra has an amazing ability to impart wisdom that you bodies Love and inspired the desire to be our best and higher consciousness.
– Donna, Mother
