In our attempt to be connected with our kids, friends, co-workers or family, do cell phones disconnected us to the person right next to us?
How many times have you seen a group of people together but not really together because they are all on their cell phones talking to someone else. Look around you and check out how many people are talking on their cell phones. Everyone has a cell phone and every parent thinks their teen should have one. How did we get by without them?
Cell phones are great for emergencies, work and contacted people to get together. Where I think cell phones are destructive is when we are constantly on them just visiting, when we should be face-to-face visiting instead. How personal is it to be visiting with someone on the phone, and how personal is it to be with someone, talking on the phone with someone else.
How is this affecting our social skills and how is affecting our relationship with our teens? Our communication shows up differently when we are texting, e-mailing or talking on the phone. We aren’t as present as we are when we are face-to-face.
It is affecting our relationship with our teens because we can’t be present with them because either they are on the phone or we are answering our phone. Right in the middle of a conversation, someones phone rings and takes us away from who we are with. Besides it is extremely rude, it makes having a close relationship with someone impossible.
It is also affecting relationships between our teens and their friends. It’s hard to have a close relationship with someone who isn’t present with you. If they are on the phone when they are with you, how do you feel?
So, it’s safe to say that we aren’t going to throw away our cell phones. Maybe we can just have some boundaries around them. Here are a few tips.
1) Spend quality time with your teens without your cell phones
2) If your cell phone rings while your teen is talking to you, ignore it
3) Encourage your teens to spend more time face-to-face with their friends
4) Leave your cell phone at home when you go out as a family
5) Talk to your teens about the social deadness that cell phones have on us
6) Set boundaries on time allowed talking on the cell phones to friends
7) No cell phones at the dinner table, including parents
Get back to the basics of parenting, communicating, sharing and love being with your kids, they won’t be around forever.
If I don’t talk to you before Thanksgiving, have a wonderful day with your friends and family and be grateful that you have them. There are people in the world who will be all alone, with no one to break bread with.
With love and gratitude,
Debra