Have You Been Shaming Teen Sex?
It’s no surprise that teen sex is an uncomfortable subject for parents. A parent’s mind is full of statistics about STDs and teen pregnancies. For some, the subject is so frightening that all they can do is attempt to shame their kids into thinking sex is a terrible thing.
Teen Issues with Sex: The Downfalls of Shame
While shaming your daughter into avoiding sex until she’s 30 might seem like a great idea, it won’t work. Here’s why.
It Makes Sex Seem Even More Enticing
We all know that teen issues with rebellion are common. If you go on an on about how sex is a dirty and terrible thing, your teens are going to be more interested than ever.
It Hurts Self-esteem
When parents place too much emphasis on the importance of virginity, it can damage a teenager’s self-esteem. What if your teen has already lost their virginity? What if they begin to feel guilty for having sexual thoughts or desires? Rather than shaming, consider discussing sex as a positive thing that involves a great deal of responsibility.
It Creates Distance in Mother Daughter Relationships
Whether your daughter is 16 or 40, you may never feel comfortable knowing the details of her sex life. That’s normal. However, you do want to cultivate a relationship that will last throughout your adult lives. Shaming her for having sexual desires during her teen years could get in the way of that.
It Hinders the Chance to Make Adult Decisions
At some point, your teen will need to begin making adult choices. There’s nothing wrong with a parent setting limits on teen sex and dating, but you won’t always be around to approve every choice. Older teens need some freedom to make their own decisions. This is how they learn about healthy boundaries.
If you’re a mother who is nervous about approaching the subject of safe sex with your teen, consider signing up for my mentoring program over the phone or through FaceTime. Through my mentoring program we work on improving mother daughter relationships and overcoming many of the problems faced by today’s teens.