Strict vs Passive: The Negatives of Parenting Extremes

Taking a look at different parenting styles. Strict vs Passive: Strict vs Passive The Negatives of Parenting Extremes

Most parents fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum between strict and passive, which is usually the healthiest possibility. However, there isn’t one set parenting method that’s right for every family. Your personal values and beliefs will partially determine how strict you choose to be with your children. Their personalities will also play a role. Some kids are relaxed and easy to handle, and others require stricter boundaries to keep them in line.

Strict Parenting Styles

Strict parents tend to want to control every move their teen makes. They usually create a code of conduct and a schedule that must be followed. Most strict parents believe that avoiding teen issues means pushing their kids to strive for the very best, which means maintaining an excellent academic and behavioral record.

The negatives of strict parenting styles:

  • You might alienate yourself from your teens and harm your long-term relationship.
  • Teen self-esteem issues could develop if the kids start to feel they’ll never be good enough.
  • The kids might learn to begin keeping secrets from you.
  • Other teenage issues could develop due to repressed anger and the lack of freedom to express themselves.

Passive Parenting Styles

Passive parents generally want their teens to experience happiness, freedom and creativity. They will therefore allow more creative expression in a teen’s fashion and generally allow more freedom when it comes to choosing a schedule.

The negatives of passive parenting styles:

  • Your lack of authority could result in your teen not having enough respect for you.
  • The kids might not develop the skills to handle their emotions when they don’t get their way.
  • Teenage self-esteem issues might develop due to insecurity over the lack of boundaries.
  • Too much leniency could result in a lack of self-discipline.

Finding balance isn’t easy as a parent. The best thing you can do is remember that the middle path is usually the best. Teen issues will arise from being extremely controlling or too passive. If you need help learning how to loosen the chains as an overly strict parent or pay a little more attention as a passive parent, please contact me today.  I offer mother daughter retreats and mentoring that can help with parenting skills.

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Debra Beck

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