Why Do Our Teens Shut Us Out?

Teens Shutting Out Parents: How to Let Go! Why Do Our Teens Shut Us Out

It’s common for teens shutting out parents to grow cold and distant. Many parents respond to this by clinging harder, but this can sometimes make things worse. Teens are growing up and beginning to discover themselves, and it’s your job as a parent to assist this process by letting go.

1. You’re Crossing the Line

It’s normal to want to know what’s going on in your teen’s world, but asking too many annoying questions will likely backfire. People share when they feel inspired, and most people shut down when they feel forced.

If you notice your teen shutting down and refusing to share details of her life with you, it might be time to take inventory of your own behavior. Put yourself in her shoes. If someone came at you the way you’ve been coming at your daughter, would you feel inclined to open up?

2. You’re Demanding Rather than Guiding

When our kids are very young, we need to tell them exactly what to do. Around the age of 13, they stop wanting our guidance, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t needed. It’s up to parents to figure out how to deliver advice in a different manner. Once again, try to remember how you wanted to be spoken to at that age.

3. You’re Not Asking for Their Input

Teens are halfway between childhood and adulthood, which means it’s time for them to begin testing the waters with adult responsibility. If you don’t start treating your teen like an adult, what do you expect will happen after the age of 18?

These years provide the opportunity for your teen to begin learning important skills for life. You can avoid teen issues by asking your teens what they think about important topics and situations. If a mistake is made, sit down and talk to them about it like adults rather than scolding them like children.

If you need help with issues related to teens shutting out parents, please contact me today.  I offer mentoring packages or my mother daughter retreats  that can help you avoid teen issues by finding balance and creating healthy and happy connections with your kids.

For more information please contact me today. Call me at  928-300-0447 or

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Debra Beck

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My Feet Aren't Ugly book by Debra Beck.

If you want your teen to have a better sense of self, check out my award winning book, My Feet Aren’t Ugly, A Girl’s Guide To Loving Herself From The Inside Out. Amazon.com

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