Being In friendships With People Who Treat You Right = Good Self Esteem

Excerpt From the Revised & Updated Edition of

My Feet Aren’t Ugly

“When you allow people to treat you poorly, it’s because you don’t feel worthy of being treated with respect. Poor treatment can be as simple as a friend saying she will do something with you and not showing up or calling to let you know her plans have changed. It could also be her talking about you behind your back. You know in your inner core when one of your friends is treating you badly. Try not to ignore it. Let’s look at the type of friendships you are in and how your friends treat you. This will tell you what you think of yourself.”

If you want to know where your self esteem is, look at the friends you hang around.  If your friends treat you poorly, your self confidence is suffering.  A lot of people don’t even know what being treated poorly looks like, so lets take a look at that. If you have a friend tell you she is going to go to the movies with you and she changes her mind and tells you she is hanging out with someone else, that’s not respectful. It can also look like a  friend criticizing you about who you are or what you look like or she doesn’t support you when you need her. These are just a few ways your so called “friend” doesn’t act like a real friend.

If you have self confidence you won’t let your friends treat you badly, it’s that simple. If a friend is treating you badly, you confront them and ask them to treat you differently. If they won’t you find a new friend that will respect you and treat you better.

Your self esteem can be monitored a lot of different ways. Checking out how your friend treats you is a very easy way to see where you are at. So, go look at your friends and how they show up for you and see where your self esteem is.  Then see if you have to have a talk with them about showing up in a different way. Your worth having good friends in your life, you deserve it.

Keep Loving Yourself,

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©2007-2011 Debra Beck,

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Teen and parenting mentor Debra Beck, who has spent over 20 years working with teens and parents, is a devoted mother, sought-after presenter, and author.  She has helped thousands of girls develop their self esteem. She now runs her popular parenting website,, publishes the “Empowered Teens and Parents” newsletter, encourages girls to be the best “young women” possible, and gives moms and dads the understanding they need to help their girls mature with pride and confidence.  Debra has helped thousands of teenage girls with their self-esteem.  Her award-winning book “My Feet Aren’t Ugly: A Girl’s Guide to Loving Herself from the Inside Out”, has been revised and updated for re-release in September 2011 with Beaufort Books.



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