Why Do We Shut Down When Someone Hurts Our Feelings

How do we keep our hearts open, after we have been hurt?

This is where knowing who you are and having self confidence comes in handy.  We seem to shut down after someone treats us badly or shuns us in someway.  If we are shut down, it is impossible to have an open heart. If our hearts are shut down, we can not feel love or give love. 

In our journey through life it’s important to know that when people do things to us, it’s not always about us.  For a fact…It’s usually never about us. This is where self-esteem and self confidence is so critical.  Even if your boyfriend breaks up with you, if you immediately think it’s because of something you did or didn’t do, it becomes about you! 

Of course it’s going to hurt if your boyfriend breaks up with you, but it doesn’t have to be about you.  Don’t shut down and think you have to change something about yourself, instead look at it like an opportunity to grow and open your heart more.  I think just knowing that it isn’t always about us, allows us to keep our hearts open.  even when it has to do with him. This is a tough one, I know. 

Give it a try, next time someone does something that hurt you, say to yourself  “This isn’t about me”, and send them love, to help them figure things out, and see how differently you feel. 

A broken heart at first doesn’t mean that a heart has to shut down. Think about all of the times someone has done something to shut your heart down and tell me how that felt, and maybe how you could have shifted that by not making it about you.


Also, remember to have supportive, and positive relationships in your life, so that you are not constantly working on keeping your heart open with people that aren’t safe to have an open heart with.